Common Questions to an Atheist in AA

Note: This post was originally titled "Ask an Atheist". That day is gone and it's now "Common Questions to an Atheist in AA". Originally published on July, 21, 2021

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It's National Ask an Atheist Day. So, use the the comments and Ask an Atheist in AA. I'll try to respond in a timely manner.

First a few very common questions;

Yes, I do have a Higher Power. As Jim B . put it;

For the new agnostic or atheist just coming in, I will try to give very briefly my milestones in recovery...
1. The first power I found greater than myself was John Barleycorn.
2. The AA Fellowship became my Higher Power for the first two years.
3. Gradually, I came to believe that God and Good were synonymous and were found in all of us.
4. And I found that by meditating and trying to tune in on my better self for guidance and answers, I became more comfortable and steady.
Jim B
Sober For Thirty Years
A.A. Grapevine, May 1968

My HP resides in the essence of Number 4. It's me. My conscience. My knowledge and sense of right and wrong. Most of us have one. Some don't. That's unfortunate.

The key is the tuning-in part. Listening. And putting desire in it's proper place. Always second. Right and desired is great. Right and undesired is to suck it up and do it anyway. Wrong, either desired or not, is to be abandoned.

That brings us to; Do I pray?

Yes, I do. Only I call it "Talking to myself". And answering. Sometimes an entire conversion might take place. When Alan Shepard, sitting in the Mercury 7 and about to become the first American in space, uttered his Prayer, he wasn't talking to God. he was talking to himself. And he listened to himself. And he didn't. I can do no less.

How can I follow the Steps without God?

 I do. Only not exactly the ones written in the BB. Remember, those are suggestions. Every secular member of AA ends up modifying them in some way as to eliminate the God aspect. Many have written them down (See Here and Here). the removal of God, HP, or some other controlling supernatural force, doesn't matter. It's the results that matter.   

 

 

The comments are open and unmoderated. 

The Desiderata

 

Desiderata

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

By Max Ehrmann © 1927
Original text

Tʜᴇ Fɪʀsᴛ, Fɪʀsᴛ Sᴛᴇᴘ

This is part of the text of this audio.

I opened the door and walked into the room, the first to arrive. Across from me, displayed on the wall were the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, and as I read that first step, it got my attention. It was the perfect description of my situation and my life at that moment, and just reading the words filled me with a sense of relief.

We admitted we were powerless over alcohol — that our lives had become unmanageable.

My drinking had been out of control for several years and my life reached a point where it became not only impossible but frightening. I was twenty-five years old and since about the age of 19, I considered the possibility that I was an alcoholic, but I always dismissed the idea as ridiculous. I was too young or so I thought. Yet, when I read that step, the label “alcoholic” didn’t seem to matter any longer, because the statement at least in my case was true and very applicable. I was powerless over alcohol and my life was certainly unmanageable.

As I was contemplating the words before me, a man walked into the room with a pot of coffee and introduced himself. He was very kind to me, and as others began filtering into the room, he introduced me to them. I remember thinking that everyone seemed so well put together, so successful, so normal.

The meeting started with somebody reading the Steps, and then they gave me a First Step Meeting. They told my story through their own. One man recounted the shame he felt when his wife and young daughters went to the police station to get him out of jail. Although my circumstances were different, I understood and could relate to the feelings of shame and guilt that he expressed.

They suggested I come back, to try ninety meetings in ninety days, to not drink one day at a time, to call someone before I drank, and to not drink no matter what, that even if my ass were to fall off, I was to pick it up and get my ass to a meeting. I knew I was in the right place

For the complete text, click here

For more information, articles, and shares on Secular AA go here;  AA Beyond Belief and here AA Agnostica

For more videos like this;  Beyond Belief Sobriety

Exᴄᴜsᴇs, Exᴄᴜsᴇs

1. Everybody else is doing it so why shouldn't I? 2. I only drink on weekends. 3. I don't see anything bad happening to me so far. 4. I can stop anytime I want to. 5. I am the way I am. 6. I'll only do it for a while. 7. If I didn't do this I'd be doing something worse. 8. I only do it to relax. 9. My problem is no worse than yours. 10. We all have to die sometime. 11. What I do is not binge drinking. 12. I'm not an alcoholic. 13. Drinking helps me forget my problems. 14. I don't want to be left out.

15. I'm not hurting anybody but myself. 16. I only get drunk once in a while. 17. Drinking helps me overcome my shyness. 18. It helps me relate better to other people. 19. It's only a problem if you do it everyday. 20. Now is not a good time to stop. 21. If I don't drink, they'll think I'm a snob. 22. I'm not nearly as bad as other people. 23. It's rude to refuse. 24. I only drink a little. 25. I don't have a problem. 26. Drinking helps me to be more confident. 27. Nobody is going to tell ME what to do.

"He'll Always be Another One of Us

Words and music by Hoyt Axton

You say it was this morning when you last saw your good friend
Lyin' on the pavement with a misery on his brain
Stoned on some new potion he found upon the wall
Of some unholy bathroom in some ungodly hall
He only had a dollar to live on 'til next Monday
But he spent it on some comfort for his mind
Did you say you think he's blind?

Someone should call his parents, a sister or a brother
And they'll come to take him back home on a bus
But he'll always be a problem to his poor and puzzled mother
Yeah he'll always be another one of us
He said he wanted Heaven but prayin' was too slow
So he bought a one way ticket on an airline made of snow
Did you say you saw your good friend flyin' low?
Flyin' low
Dyin' slow

OK. yeah, I know. It's all about dope. But, try to put it in the context of Ernie Kurtz (Above) and Step 12. Everyone that walks in the door and asks for help, will always be another one of us.

The Reverse Twelve Steps (Or What We Were Like)

Just something to consider

Reasons to Drink

 

From the movie "Come Fill the Cup". So succinct  and accurate. Makes you wonder that the screenwriter might have had an intimate relationship with the subject.

 

Modern 12 Step Recovery

Modern 12 Steps 

1. We admitted we were powerless over our addiction – that our lives had become unmanageable. 

2. Came to trust that resources outside of ourselves could restore us to rational thinking and behavior. 

3. Made a decision to turn our direction and actions over to the guidance of those resources. 

4. Made an honest and thorough list of the issues in our lives. 

5. Admitted to ourselves and another person our specific role in those issues. 

6. Became entirely ready to make changes in our character. 

7. Began making changes in our thinking and behavior with humility and honesty. 

8. Made a list of all persons we had harmed and became willing to make amends to them all. 

9. Made direct amends to those people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 

10. Continued to be aware of our thoughts and actions and when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 

11. Pursued a program of ongoing self-improvement and empowerment through meditation, reflection, and study. 

12. Having experienced a personal transformation as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this program to other addicts and to practice these principles in all aspects of our lives. 

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From;  Modern 12 Step Recovery

Ed finds AA

Hello.
My name is Ed
I am an alcoholic.
I've mentioned a few times in Chat, that when I desire a Meeting all I have to do is wander about a 100 feet or so to my neighbor's house. Where my (Don't tell him) Sponsor lives. How I came into AA and how I met him i think makes an interesting story. And an entirely true one.
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I tend to spend a fair amount of time on line. Don't share a lot. like to listen. You can't learn if your talking and not listening. Except when it comes to newcomers. I listen hard to them, someone held a hand out to me, the only thing I can to to repay that, is to hold mine out to someone who needs it. To do that I must listen before I can help. BTW, there is a great difference between listening & hearing.
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I have observed a few things that it seems like all newcomers have in common, at least online ones. Fear and embarrassment. The Web allows anonymity. It alleviates that fear and embarrassment. But, to make this thing work, a person to person thing must be done. A meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous.
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Atheist Ed finds AA.

Prologue;

A number of years back, I was drinking and, my wife and I got into a fight over something I did. Don't even remember what it was, just that it was stupid and I did it. To put "Fight" into perspective, after 49 years, I can count of 1 hand the number of "Fights" we've had. Disagreements? A great number. But, we're both pretty calm people, old hippie types and we've always managed discussion to get things resolved .I think we both realized at the same time, we were yelling at each other. She shutup, I shutup. She retreated, I retreated.

I went inside and thought about it. In a moment of clarity, I realized, I had done something stupid, I was wrong, and this sh*t's gotta stop. So, I  looked up AA on the web. Found a contact number and called it. A very nice lady answered. After some inquiries about whether I called the right place, I told her my problem, an asked if she could help. She said she would certainly like to try. After a little chit-chat over details, she asked if we could meet. It was then, we discovered we were separated by 50 miles of twisty, 2-lane blacktop. It was mutually agreed, that since I had been drinking, An hr driving, by myself, might be a little much to ask.

She said, she had an idea and could she call me back. I said certainly, gave her my number, said goodbye. And waited.
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The Story Starts, Part 1;

Phone rang, guy on phone said he was Larry, he lived in my town and he was told I was looking for help. Was I? A little more small talk ensued. He asked if I could drive, as he thought this should be a person to person thing. I told him, yes. He started giving me directions to his house. From a known landmark, what streets to go on, where to turn, etc. Finally, "Turn left, I'm the 2Nd house on right." Described his house and asked if I needed the address, just in case. I said,"No Larry, I think I know exactly where you live, I've be over in just a few minutes" He said,"Great, I'll be on my porch looking for you."

Part 2;

After hanging up, I took the last shot of bourbon that was in my bottle (Liquid courage, ya know?). Took a deep breath and started out. Out the door. Hard right turn, walked across my lawn, across neighbors driveway, to the man standing on his porch. I said, "Is your name Larry?" He said, "Yes". I replied, "I'm Ed and I think I just got done talking to you". He said, "I think so. Welcome, glad to meet you." We sat down and after some discussion, he asked,"If I would be willing to go to a meeting".

Part 3;

Well, we went. 1st person I see, the butcher I'd been doing business with for years. He says, "Hi Ed". 2Nd person, fellow engineer I had worked with or for off & on for even more years. He says, "Hi Ed, 'bout time you showed. Was kinda wondering if ever".

Epilogue;

Meeting started. Didn't know what the hell I was doing so, I just observed a bit. Eventually things got around to me. I introduced myself, "I'm Ed, an alcoholic. This is all very new to me but I think I'm in the right place."

I was most warmly welcomed, given a Big Book and a 24 Hr. Chip.

The rest, as they say, was history.
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Lesson to the Newcomer. Don't be afraid or embarrassed. You be surprised at people you know, that will welcome you. Especially, embarrassment about stupid stuff. I can near guarantee there's not a bit of drunk stupid that hasn't been invented Loong before your time .

Bill W, Son of God - The LSD Experiment

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