Maybe Later

Awhile back I was talking to a person who had just returned after a relapse. One of those common things. Damn few that I've ever heard of just put it down and stopped. Anyway, they were having trouble getting restarted and asked about my journey from my last relapse. My side of the conversion was something like this.

Where I live, liquor sales stop between 1:30 AM until 6:00 AM. For a time I lived for 1:30 AM. It meant 4.5 hours I could relax. I didn't have to sweat it out. I couldn't ever if I wanted to. The other 19.5 might be hell but, I could look forward to 1:30. All I had to do was maintain until then. In AA it's one day, 24 hours at a time. I managed to cheat it down.

After awhile. A week, 10 days, 2 weeks? Hell, I don't really remember, awhile. I got to feeling better. And that thirst came back. Big time. Now, I don't drive. I walk. And liquor is about an hour round trip. To the store, purchase, and back.

I felt better but, I didn't feel that much better. And I was torn anyway. I decided, later, when I feel better.

When I felt better. But less thirsty. I still wanted it. Not as much. But still. I said to myself, “Self, that's too damn far and it's too damn cold. Maybe later.” And Self agreed. I made lazy my advantage.

And for a very long time after. When that thirst came upon me, Self and I still agreed, “Maybe later”.

Later on. When I was already in a store with liquor and I thought I was thirsty. It became, “Not now. Maybe later”

I call it the “Maybe later method”. It's worked for me so far.

 

Thanks to Mack, for the conversation. Another case of two alcoholics talking.